Marriage and Kids?

Last night My Boyfriend and I went to visit some of our good friends in the hospital who had just had a baby. It was great! It was neat for me to get to see such a little, new baby and it was sure fun talking about how labor went for my good friend.

I can't wait to have kids. I've always wanted them. Growing up and watching all my friends get married and have their kids makes the cravings even worse, not to mention that my boyfriend has a son of his own. I love kids!!! I don't want to rush out and have kids RIGHT now, but I definitely want them... soon. In the next 3 or so years. Sometimes the fact that my boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship can make it hard on me. Because I know he's already experienced it all. He's already experienced the nine months of waiting, watching the growing belly, the picking out of the name, the baby clothes, the baby room, buying all the baby stuff, the birth and excitement of his son. Of becoming a daddy. He's already experienced it all, and with someone else. Because of the fact he's been through it all, I'm worried that he doesn't have the same excitement towards having kids as I do. I fear that if we were to get married and have kids, I would be having all those new feelings alone. Things just wouldn't be as exciting to him. That hurts me to even think about it.

Another big issue is that I don't even think he wants to marry me. On the way home from visiting our friends in the hospital, I asked him if he wanted to go to a wedding with me on Friday. He asked, "The actual wedding, or just the reception?" and I replied, "No, just the reception." He asked me how well I knew the person getting married. I said that we went to high school together, but weren't extremely close, however; she is my best friends other best friend (If that makes sense) and that I feel I should go. He then said, "Well, it's because people who get married want the gifts. If I were to get married, even though I don't like the idea of it, I'd invite everyone just to get free gifts."

This comment was so sudden that it was like he had turned around and slapped me right across the face. First of all, he said "If I were to get married..." So that lets me know, A) He doesn't want to get married. B) He doesn't want to get married to me.

When we first got together, all he could talk about was marriage. There are a two things that stand out vividly in my mind that he said to me. One of them being, "I'm tired of just 'dating' around. I'm looking for the girl I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. So I hope you are serious about being in a committed relationship, because I'm in it for the long-run." and the other was, "The way I look at marriage, is anything under 2 months is crazy, and anything over 2 years is crazy." Why are things so different now? I just don't understand it. And this change didn't happen a long time ago, it happened recently. Within the last 5 or 6 months. Even a year ago, instead of saying "If we get married," he would say, "When we get married," and now he is saying he doesn't even want to get married and that he doesn't like the idea of marriage. WHY!?

Not to mention that he used to talk about wanting to have other kids, and even going as far to saying "I can't wait to have a little girl with you." and, "Sometimes I wish that we'd just have a baby. That way you'll always be in my life. Even if you get sick of me and don't want me anymore, I'll still be in your life." Now it's like he's not even the same person. About a month ago we were at the store and we had his son with us, and my cousin and his daughter were also there. My cousins daughter went up to My boyfriend and wanted him to hold her. He did, but for only a minute saying that he didn't want his son to get jealous, in which I said, "What is he ever going to do when you have other kids?" and my boyfriend replied "Who said I'm ever going to have other kids?"

I've done my best at sticking up for myself. I've told him multiple times before when he's made snide little comments like that, "Are you saying you don't want to get married or have other kids? Because if you don't, then we might as well just end it now because I want to get married and I want to have kids." His response: "I never said that. I just don't want to get married right now."

From you, the readers point of view, it probably just sounds like he's an asshole type of guy, who told me anything at the beginning of the relationship just to get with me, right? No, I promise he isn't that guy. He really is a great guy. The one in a million type. The type that is old fashioned in the sense that he still opens any door for me, he likes to be the man of the relationship, the type that would take off his coat to give me if I were cold. He really is a very special guy. He treats me so great and is constantly loving and does little special things for me. He hugs me and kisses me and cuddles with me. Everything in our relationship is absolutely GREAT, except for the fact that he acts as though he doesn't want to get married. I just don't know what to do about our situation. I've already invested almost 3 years of my life into him, and I don't want to invest anymore if it's not going anywhere.

I've been told that the reason he acts the way he does is because I do too much for him, which I really do. I constantly make him dinner, I clean his house, I bathe and dress his son. I do EVERYTHING for him, and maybe that's why he doesn't appreciate me. But I just don't know how to cut back without seeming like a bitch. And what if that doesn't change anything at all? What do I do?! I'm so lost and I need help!

~Love

Is this acceptable, or am I being over dramatic?

My Boyfriend's son broke his arm on Friday while playing at a play place. We took him to a emergency room where they gave him a temporary cast. They said that the permanent cast had to be put on Monday.

He called The Ex and worked it out with her that both of them would take him in on Monday. (This already bothers me. I don't like them going anywhere together, just the two of them because I don't know what she's doing when I'm not there, and I don't like the idea that people are going to assume they are together. You don't have to tell me, I already know that I'm being over dramatic about this one)

After work I Monday, I ask how it went, and he said fine. I asked if The Ex went, or if it was just him. He said that she went. Didn't give me any more info than that. (this bothers me because I feel that because I'm his girlfriend and we have a relationship together, he should include me in on what goes on when it's just them)

Today I find out that they went out to lunch, and My Boyfriend paid for hers. This bothered me on so many levels.
1) because I didn't know they went to lunch. Is it just me, or is it only right for him to be telling me when things like that happen?
2)He PAID for her meal. He sometimes makes me feel bad if he buys something for me, and half the time we go out to eat he asks me "are you gonna pay for it?", yet he goes and pays for her?! Do I have justification for being upset, or am I just being over dramatic. Please tell me!

~Love